Uhhh, whoops.

Ahh vicoden. How you lure me in with your sweet whispers. Promising me the unreachable. And for one day, we cruise together. All is well in the world, until the next morning, when I have to wake up after only getting 3 hours of sleep and I feel like a band of angry midgets are beating their way out of my head with dull icepicks. Anywhoo, on to sports.

Even though I am in a horrible haze today, the smile cannot and will not be removed from my face today. Duke is out of the NCAA tournament and all is right in the world. Nothing pleases me more then when I see the Coach K face of anger. His smirk is wonderful. The guy defines douche. There are a few teams that I just cannot stand in the sports world. Some are commonplace among fans. Duke is one of those teams. This is not just because I am a HUGE UNC fan. I have never liked Duke or any of their players. But the main reason I despise this team: Coach K.

What I am about to say is among one of my many statements that is sure to land me a place in hell. Back when Coach K got sick and left the team for a while, I actually cheered when I heard the report on SportsCenter. Now, I was younger and more arrogant and a complete sports nut,(I still am) but the satisfaction I got from laughing at the struggles of Duke was outstanding.

Another reason I am pleased is because I am fan of Philadelphia basketball. Villanova is a really good team and Jay Wright has been the perfect coach for this program. People outside of this city just cannot appreciate the awesome level of college basketball that is played here. There is so much history in these buildings it just screams to be discovered. If you live here, you know about it. You listen to stories, you see new history being written, basketball is a sacred thing. It is truly beautiful to be a part of. If you are a college basketball junkie, and I am, you have to make a trip here and check it out. One of the best venues ever is the Palestra. It is such a great place that words cannot describe it. Anyway, congrats to Nova. While I was hesitant to pick them over Duke in one of my pools, I am glad they moved on.

The Big East is far and away the best conference in college basketball. It's not even close. I have a rooting interest in a few teams in college sports and that's how it is. I love me some UNC, PSU, Texas and Pitt. I also root for all teams Philly and I love to see them succeed. College basketball in Philly is on the upswing. Fran Dunphy is bringing Temple back, Jay Wright has Nova rocking, John Giannini is bringing LaSalle up by HUGE leaps and bounds, Bruiser Flint has Drexel in games more then they should be, and Martelli is Martelli, St. Joes will always be dangerous. Penn will improve but you can only do so much when you cannot offer scholarships.

Anyway, congrats to the Philly squads for another great year. It's not over yet as Nova carries our banner. While I am sad to see the season go, the Phillies are the defending champs and the Flyboys could do some damage again. The NFL draft is coming and I cringe at another season of Andy Reid and Donny Mac. But my love for college basketball keeps me in check for now. Congrats Nova and coach Wright, you guys are great!

And Coach K, suck my ass. Douche.

Sweet Jesus!

This is a down time right now. No football, waiting for baseball, nearing the end of the NCAA tourney and hockey drawing to a close. The one event on the horizon: the NFL Draft. I get pumped up for this every year. It's almost like a holiday. That little extra bit of sunshine until next season. Unless you're an Eagles fan. Then you don't ever have to watch the 1st round. Because Andy Reid and Joe Banner are douchebags. This year, they have two 1st rounders. Will they screw this up? More than likely. I can only hope they keep both picks and actually draft some skill position players. It would be nice if they could evaluate talent though. The only way I want to see them trade either pick is if they make a push for Anquan Boldin or Braylon Edwards. Even then, giving up a 1st rounder is tough. The draft does offer some hope though. If they screw this up miserably, and choke like always next year, MAYBE we can finally get Reid out of here. I know it's a pipedream, but hey, anything is possible.

Danny Briere..you suck

Another Flyers game, another Danny Briere injury. Is it me or is this guy as useless as tits on a bull? Christ, he gets hurt the day AFTER the trade deadline. Thanks for that Danny. That big contract sure seems to be paying off. In ohter news, my Red Wings are still cruising along. The only other team I am concerned with in the conference is the Sharks. I think they may actually have enough to overcome their past choking performances this year. I want it to be a Flyers/Red Wings final for the Cup but it won't happen that way. The Devils look damn good and getting Mart back in net can only help them. Yes, i am talking hockey. I love it. Eat me.

Sean Jones, Philadelphia Eagle?

Word is that the Birds have brought Mr. Jones in for a visit. If they can somehow manage to sign him, I will give some forgiveness back to the regime from hell. This would make Jones the SS and Mikell the new FS. I could live with this. Jones has to stay healthy for it to work though. I am still among the many bitter fans who hope to see Joe Banner strung up by his entrails. I feel as though that will never change. Why? Because fuck Joe Banner. That's why.

Damn these Philadelphia Eagles

Within a few days, the Birds have managed to rip my heart out and make me smile at the same time. With the departure of B-Dawk, I was wishing horrible things upon Joe Banner, like being ass-raped by a rabid bear with AIDS, and then he goes and trades Greg Lewis...to New England. God bless you for that Joe. If they got anything other than the clap for G-Lew, it's a great trade. I still cannot get over letting the face of the franchise go while bringing in a 34 year old broken down corner, Shawn Springs,in for a visit afterwards. It makes no sense. I still have hope for a Boldin trade but it seems unlikely. If they don't step up soon, Super 5 has got to be gone next. While I am not a big fan of McNabb, Kevin Kolb may very well be the anti-christ at QB. Let's see something Eagles. Otherwise, go fuck yourselves.

Combine time!!

Ah yes, it's that magical time of year again. Time for large men to run around in shorts and t-shirts to prove that they are good football players and worth of making too much goddamn money. COMBINE TIME! I am a fan of the combine because it allows me to keep some connection with football for a bit longer. Mock drafts will be flying soon and that is a lot of fun as well, even though not one single expert will ever have an accurate one. How in the fuck do guys like Mel Kiper Jr get their jobs? Seriously? Is there no God? Why does he hate me? What the FUCK makes Kiper qualified to get a show, book deal, cushy gig? Maybe I missed something. is it the hair? I can get good hair. No problem. I can talk football all day. Dick. Anyway, it's time once again to figure out which guy will be this years Mike Mamula. You know, the guy who looks great without the pads and action of a game. Asshole. I never really took a whole lot of stock in the combine for the most part. If i was an exec about to invest millions of dollars in a player, I'd look for on field production first and foremost. Also, I'd like a guy who isn't dumb as a goddamn brick.( Sorry, Vince Young!) That's important. Anyway, let the games begin, I only hope the Lions and Eagles don't continue to fuck this up.

Ah, the crack of leather is in the air.

And no, I don't mean fetish porn. Well, maybe a little. Baseball is back. After football leaves us high and dry like a prom date, baseball steps in to finish the job. Baseball takes one for the team. Now, my love for football is undying, but the time from May until training camp needs to be filled somehow. You can only watch so much scat. I am looking forward to seeing the Phillies defend the trophy. With all the steroids junk going on, it's nice to say " World Fucking Champs" to anyone who'll listem.